Current:Home > MarketsThis mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title. -MoneyBase
This mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title.
Charles Langston View
Date:2025-04-10 09:16:54
Are terms like "grandma" and "grandpa" a thing of the past? Some baby boomers apparently hope so.
Earlier this month, a woman went viral on TikTok for sharing a video about how her mother-in-law doesn't want to be called "grandma." Her suggestions instead? Mama paired with her last name − so Mama Smith, for example. This was quickly vetoed as her son and daughter-in-law pointed out this would likely end up shortened to mama, which did not sit well with the child's mom. The mother-in-law's next pick? "Queen mother."
"To be fair, I think she's watching 'Bridgerton,' so that may have played a role," the TikToker said in a video with 1.9 million views, adding her mother-in-law said it could be shortened to "queenie." She and her husband coaxed her mother-in-law out of "queenie" and got her to eventually agree to "G-ma."
The comments were flooded with users who lamented they've fielded similar requests from their parents and in-laws: "My father seriously wanted to be called 'your honor;' "My mom wanted mom-mom 'because I'm their mom's mom.' No. Hard no;" "My (mother-in-law) just wanted Mama. I have never laughed at someone so hard." And recent data also speaks to that trend.
In August, Preply surveyed 1,500 Americans across all 50 states and found, "The baby boomer generation is … opting for nicknames that resonate more with their vibrant spirit and sense of individuality."
The most-popular alternatives for grandma include nicknames like "Gigi," "Bibi" and "Momo;" while the most-popular grandpa alternatives include options like "G-pa" and "Grandude."
Boomers aren't the first generation to shake up traditional titles, but experts say their quest to reinvent what they're called as grandparents shows how many feel about aging and entering their golden years.
Why do people not want to be called 'grandma' or 'grandpa'?
Erik Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, speculates there could be multiple reasons why baby boomers are opting to forgo being called "grandma" and "grandpa," including a denial of getting older.
It's also possible that, instead of denying their age, they more so don't want to seem old-fashioned or see themselves in the same light as their own grandparents.
Also, in a culture that emphasizes embracing the authentic self, new grandparents may just want to feel unique.
"People end up acting in relatively predictable ways, even when they're trying to strive for individuality and uniqueness," Anderson says.
Sometimes there could be a more sinister motivation. A grandmother wanting to be called "mama," for instance, may want to usurp control of a grandchild from their mother by going by a similar title.
"People should have the freedom to be addressed by whatever they would like, but again, it has to be something too that's not duplicating what already exists or infringes on the parents," psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says. "It could be a power and control issue. (Or) it could just be not being aware of how that could impact the parent."
Furious at your parents for aging?You're not alone.
What if a grandparent wants to be called something outrageous?
So what should parents do if a grandparent wants to be called something truly outrageous? Anderson and Sarkis agree that, while it's generous to let a grandparent select their title, ultimately, the child's parents get final approval.
"The family with the young children gets to make those decisions, or at least has a little more leeway or rights than grandma or grandpa," Anderson says, adding that parents setting boundaries also sets a healthy example for their children.
How will you look when you're 80?A new TikTok filter predicts Gen Z's future wrinkles, and insecurities, in a viral trend
Sarkis says it's important to be firm, yet compassionate, toward grandparents who insist on an inappropriate title, while still explaining your reasons for rejecting their request.
"You just say, 'Hey, that name, well, we don't want to confuse the baby, so how about we come up with another name?' " Sarkis says. "People have the right to come up with a name that they find appropriate for them, but the parent also has the right to say that that's not OK with them."
If a grandparent does come up with a nickname that both they and the child's parents like, then it can be a good way of allowing the grandparent to feel empowered as they step into their new role as grandma − or g-ma or whatever they want to call it.
"That freedom of being able to choose what you want to be called, there's a lot of power in that," Sarkis says. "For some people, they just don't identify with certain names for grandparents, and that's OK."
Melissa Gilbert:'Little House on the Prairie' star on why she ditched Botox, embraced aging
veryGood! (679)
Related
- McConnell absent from Senate on Thursday as he recovers from fall in Capitol
- Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich appears at a Moscow court to appeal his arrest
- Former NFL player Sergio Brown missing after mother found dead
- Not all types of cholesterol are bad. Here's the one you need to lower.
- Travis Hunter, the 2
- Unlicensed New York City acupuncturist charged after patient’s lungs collapsed, prosecutors say
- Dolphins show they can win even without Tagovailoa and Hill going deep
- Nexstar, DirectTV announce multi-year deal for CW, NewsNation and local channels
- San Francisco names street for Associated Press photographer who captured the iconic Iwo Jima photo
- Kim Kardashian Proves North West’s New Painting Is a Stroke of Genius
Ranking
- Paula Abdul settles lawsuit with former 'So You Think You Can Dance' co
- Browns star Nick Chubb expected to miss rest of NFL season with 'very significant' knee injury
- Hayden Panettiere Adds a Splash of Watermelon Vibes to Her Pink Hair
- Coca Cola v. Coca Pola
- Angelina Jolie nearly fainted making Maria Callas movie: 'My body wasn’t strong enough'
- Newcastle fan stabbed 3 times in Milan ahead of Champions League opener
- Former Missouri police officer who shot into car gets probation after guilty plea
- Sydney Sweeney Transforms Into an '80s Prom Queen for Her 26th Birthday
Recommendation
Trump issues order to ban transgender troops from serving openly in the military
Indianapolis officer fatally shoots armed man after responding to domestic violence call
Winning Powerball numbers announced for Sept. 18 drawing as jackpot hits $639 million
Researchers find new way to store carbon dioxide absorbed by plants
US appeals court rejects Nasdaq’s diversity rules for company boards
UEFA Champions League live updates: Schedule, time, TV, scores, streaming info for Tuesday
Judge rejects defense effort to throw out an Oath Keeper associate’s Jan. 6 guilty verdict
Hong Kong to tighten regulation of cryptocurrencies after arrests linked to JPEX trading platform